No one is ever going to think about you more than you.
Let’s elaborate: no one is going to think about something you do more than you will. No one is going to analyse something you do as much as you, no one is going to see as many problems or flaws in something you did as you might, no one is going to wonder about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘I should haves’ more than you.
What I’m trying to say is, we have to get out of our own heads. Raise your hand if you wanted to do something, but stopped because of what someone might think. What if someone sees you?! I mean, shock and horror.
But if your hand is not raised right now, you’re a liar. At least one time in your entire life, you thought about how something you did – whether that was something you were going to say or do or even try – you at least hesitated because of what someone else might think.
And I don’t know about you, but sometimes I wouldn’t do something because of what a complete stranger might have thought. Like, I wouldn’t get out of my car somewhere because I wasn’t sure about what I was doing and didn’t want to look lost or unsure, or I wouldn’t pick an item of food off a shelf in a grocery store because what if the person across the aisle saw me and thought…
What? What would they think?
Absolutely nothing.
No one is paying as much attention to your life as you. If you haven’t done something, or you’ve put something off, because you don’t know what other people are going to think, trust me – they are not going to care half as much as you think they will.
And if they do notice, they’ll probably forget about it in thirty seconds anyway.
Do you remember what someone across the aisle picked up in a grocery store last week?
Do you remember what instagram picture your friend posted four days ago?
Do you remember what that bartender was wearing when he took your drink order last night? (Well, you might still remember that one if it was especially good…)
And I’m trivialising here, because I know the majority of stuff we worry about people judging us over are big things, and it’s usually from people whose opinion we value highly, like what will my parents say if I quit my job, or I hope my boyfriend likes my new hairstyle, or what if my friends laugh at me for posting this blog post, etc.
But I’ve trivialised to compare – because it’s all the same. Sure, your loved ones are going to care more, but on the stuff that really matters. And if they’re your loved ones, they should care because they want to support, not judge or mock. And if they are judging – you don’t need that kind of opinion in your life, so to hell with it. Own it anyway.
Really, that’s the only time you’ll ever have to deal with a negative response to ‘what might people think.’
And if they do love you – truly, truly love you – they should come around and care in a good way anyway. Eventually.
Everyone is dealing with their own life, with their own internal monologue of doubts and insecurities. While you’re walking down the street wondering if everyone’s looking at you because you’re wearing a new outfit and you’re worried how everyone’s thinking you’re not pulling it off, they’re probably walking down the street wondering if you’ve noticed they’re having a bad hair day, or wishing they’d worn what they wanted to but they were too worried about what someone else might think.
The world is too worried about what someone else might think.
I blame the internet. Internet trolls have not made my point easy. Yes, people will write mean things if you have the courage to try something different. But again, those trolls will have forgotten about it shortly after writing whatever they wrote anyway. And they only write those things because they’re worried that’s what people will think of them if they had the courage to do whatever you did.
Do you see what I mean? Everyone is stuck inside their own head. Everyone is too busy seeing themselves under the glaring centre spotlight when there aren’t even any stages. We’re all just standing outside under the sun.
Okay, that analogy got weird. If you take anything from this (let it not be weird analogies), be it about not letting the thought of what other people might think stop you from doing what you want to do. From living the fullest life possible. Because even if people do notice, and do care, do you?
In my favourite words from Dr Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
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